The Dribble: Game Four Grades

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With the Utah Jazz and Los Angles Clippers even at two games apiece, it’s a good idea to take a step back and look at the original keys to the series. My questions were:

  • Will the Utah Jazz be up to the moment?
    • Joe Johnson will be. The dude is so composed and so cool when the game gets tight and it rubs off onto his teammates. He deserves an A+ for his play as he is solely responsible for two playoff victories (plus he led the mini rally in game three too). Quin Snyder also deserves credit for getting his guys ready. ‘Next Man Up’ is the mantra for this Jazz team and Snyder makes sure everyone is ready to contribute. He is quick to deflect credit, but Snyder has been an A+ coach throughout the series with his adjustments (Joe Ingles to guard Chris Paul, doubling Chris Paul) and his play calling (I still just love that out-of-timeout three by George Hill in game three).  It would be easy for the Jazz to feel flustered when Gobert and Hayward went down, or when the Clippers make their runs, but Joe and Quin are too cool, like mafia brothers, to let it even faze them.
  • Can the Jazz win one of the road?
    • The Jazz took game one, on the road, which gave them home court advantage. That was the good news. The bad news is they didn’t hang onto it for very long. We are now in a Best-of-Three series, where the first team to win two games wins. Unfortunately, two of the three will be in LA. The Jazz have to win one more at Staples Center. If they do so, Staples should seriously consider putting a Joe Johnson statue outside next to the Shaq. Given the split, with two more games in LA, I have to give the Jazz a C. Winning one more in LA is doable, especially now that Gobert is back, but it’s still a tough task.
  • Will everyone be healthy.
    • No. First Round Playoffs: a tale of big toes and food poisoning.
  • Who will be the X-Factor?
    • I originally wrote about some timely Joe Ingles threes, Dante Exum defense, or hot play of Joe Johnson. Joe Ingles has been an X-Factor, and gets a B, for all the little things he is doing this series. True story: Ingles was on the Clippers roster early on in his career. He was about to play in a game, his wife was flying, literally was on a plane, from Australia to watch, and then the Clippers cut him prior to that game. The defense is top notch, the attitude is sexy, and he ended game four by hitting a shot which felt like a decade since he had done so. Dante played for the first time in game four, but we can’t label him an X-Factor. And Joe. My goodness, what more can even be said? Not only does he get an A, but is graduating with a 4.0 and as the Valedictorian. For the Clippers, Crawford finally got hot in game four, but luckily it didn’t kill us. If Austin Rivers can play this series, it’ll throw another wrench in the bench as he usually gives the Jazz fits. Another X-Factor for the Clippers is Marreese Speights (my wife pointed out he has a gross growth on his bald, shiny head; be sure to look for it) who has stepped up in Blake’s shoes and never seems to miss a shot.

 

He’s too good.

So with four games in, we’ve learned a few things. My biggest two:

Doc Rivers Post Game Pressers A+

After game one, Doc Rivers went on a little tirade to a reporter who suggested going for a quick two was a bad straetgy since it gives the other the team the balll and time (which set up the Joe Johnson game winner). He didn’t like the question. And he quickly put the reporter in his place.

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Then, after game four, Doc Rivers tried to suggest that Rudy didn’t have a hand in the game, specifically saying “He doesn’t affect what we do.” In game two, the Clippers had 60 points in the paint, game three they had 48. Game four gave the Clippers 36 (Jazz had 58) and the Jazz out rebounded them 42-31. Gobert played 24 minutes, but still managed to haul in 13 rebounds and get credit for 2 blocks. It was obvious when he was in the game that Chris Paul didn’t feel like getting into the paint. The Gobert-Effect is real, but if Doc doesn’t want to acknowledge it, fine. Gobert plays with a chip on his shoulder, and this will only give him added incentive.

Oh, Doc, your raspy voiced man. Keep doing you.

Joe Freaking Johnson, the Sequel

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  • It’s Game One, the kickoff campaign for Rudy Gobert and company to play in the postseason. Unfortunately, Draco Malfoy, the blonde hair antagonist from the wizarding world, is in attendance and utters “Petrificus Totalus,” otherwise known as the Full-Body-Bind curse. It’s only been fifteen seconds, but Malfoy has had enough of the Stiffle Tower. Gobert goes down, stiff legs falling like trees, and grabs his knees. Crabbe and Goyle snicker to each other and Malfoy slowly smirks as they watch Gobert crawl back to the huddle. He misses the rest of the game but Joe Johnson, The-Man-Who-Lived, scores 11 straight to lead the Jazz to victory.

 

  • Gordon Hayward is up late, watching highlights and reruns of his 40 point explosion, when a “Live Mas” commercial comes on. Taco Bell does sound good, Hayward says aloud to no one. He gets up, grabs his keys, and sneaks out for a quick bite to “Spice Up the Night.” He spends the next 24 hours on the toilet and IVs, running back and forth to the bathroom and eventually setting up a tent there. He misses the game but Joe Johnson scores 11 straight to lead the Jazz to victory.

 

  • George Hill enjoys the nice day off in between games and decides to play in the sandbox with his children. An eight-legged green octopus grabs him, pulls him under, and a wrestle ensues. Gasping for air, Hill emerges from the sandbox with smallpox. He is covered in cream and can’t walk two steps without itching so he’s out for the next game but Joe Johnson scores 11 straight to lead the Jazz to victory.

    Cliff Paul is up to something.

 

  • Joe Ingles gets a mysterious box of doughnuts delivered to his hotel room from “Cliff Paul.” He apprehensively opens it up, out springs an albino mouse with blaring red eyes who scampers around the room, eventually nipping at both of his heels. He misses game five with the bubonic plague but Joe Johnson scores 11 straight to lead the Jazz to victory.

 

  • Playing in a sketchy tree house, Rodney Hood peeks out the window to yell at a strangely-shaped baby “dropping dimes” on a car. The tree house falls apart, something about being nailed instead of drilled, and Hood crashes through the roof of a house. He lands hard on the ground, then finds himself pelted with a paintball gun by Damian Lillard asking him why he owns the paint. Trying to snap out of his nightmare, Hood sings a little jingle that goes something like, “Like a good neighbor State Farm is there,” but instead of being safe in an agent’s office, he finds himself in a car that is being plowed by a raging buffalo. He has a serious concussion, misses the next game but Joe Johnson scores 11 straight to lead the Jazz to victory.

 

  • Quin Snyder is game planning for the next game when he gets a severe papercut on his index finger. He is bleeding so bad that he is rushed to the hospital. They do an emergency amputation, having to remove the finger infected and two more just in case. While recovering in the hospital, it turns out Snyder has a long, lost identical twin who shows up at Vivint as acting coach. He doesn’t speak English, doesn’t comb his hair, and seems to be mistaking basketball with rugby, but Joe Johnson scores 11 straight to lead the Jazz to victory.

 

Joe Johnson is just unreal. When the Jazz signed him this past off-season, it seemed random. It was the biggest name acquisition in franchise history, but did he have anything left? What would his role be? He is doing more than delivering. Game four was a masterpiece. He shot 71% from the field. 71%. He put the team on his back when the fourth quarter tension was building. The Jazz were down five, with seven minutes left, and he scores 11 straight, then dishes to Hood and Ingles for threes. 28 points in 35 minutes, and another playoff victory. During free agency, the Clippers wanted him but now he’s wearing CP3 shoes while torching them in a Jazz jersey. Simply put, we are lucky to have him.

(If you like what you’re reading, follow me on Twitter @JazzJunkie12 or go like The Tortured Fan Facebook page.)

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One thought on “The Dribble: Game Four Grades”

  1. And Joe went into the arena of Vivint Smart Home, and cast out all them that flopped and complained in the arena, and overthrew the clipboard of the man of “flowing waters”, and the seats of them that hurt knees, And said unto them, It is written, My arena shall be called the house of Iso; but your double teams have made it a den of team threes. -The Book of Howool

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