We hit triple digits tomorrow, as Miss Navy Rose celebrates her 100th day birthday while in the NICU. Cute Heather made a card for the nurses and teams that say thanks for making my first 100 days grand, and we’ll give little 100 Grand Bars. We can’t believe we are a century mark kinda NICU story. 

Navy Rose is doing really well with her progress on oral feeds and her weaning of medication. We are especially impressed with her oral feeds as she is guzzling bottles down now. It’s amazing to see her progress. We are still cautiously hopeful that she is coming home soon. There are still concerns and test results we are waiting for, but that’s a Godfrey worry not a social media worry. 

However, with worries in mind, here’s to some vulnerability. These 100 days have been hard in many ways, including emotionally. As Navy has progressed and her home date has crept closer, our mental health has taken a hit. Mental health is a passion of mine as I struggle with anxiety and depression, but to see them take over sweet Heather at times is heartbreaking. 

If I were to reflect, I’d bet that in the past month specifically neither Heather or I have had a healthy mental health day at the same time. I’d bet my days outnumber hers, but in the last little bit we’ve just taken turns. One day, I’m the support when she’s low, scared, and anxious. The next day, she’s the rock when those heavyweight emotions punch my gut. 

While we recognize the good and have many things to look forward to, the dark shadows of depression are relentless. The whys, the what ifs, the struggles, and the inadequacies can be so overbearing that it completely blankets the goods or the hopes. We try and take small steps, and we will always try and take small steps, but, to be honest, that’s exhausting, too. I know, all too well, that mental health will be a fight and we’re in for a full 12 rounds, plus some. 

That said, I’m so thankful to have Heather on my team as a life jacket to hold me afloat or a buoy to lift me up when I get dragged down. I’m also so thankful to have Kai and his pure, sweet joy as a daily tender mercy. And, I’m thankful for our magical Navy Rose. It’s her that makes it worth getting back up again and again.